Nothing else matters

I’m starting afraid of myself…..of my own thoughts…of staying alone with them – with my killingly daтgerous thoughts…that (as I begin to feel) are destroying my personality completely…totally…I’m changing…and not in the right way…I used to think that difficulties make us strong….Now they make me broken-down completely and more over I’m starting to have comtemtuous thinking of people and that won’t do.
but still it happens…
That is because when you were abandoned once you fell frustrated but you hoped that future would reward you for your unjust sufferrings and that your fortune would find you later.
When you were abandoned twice you began thinking over your problems, started feeling dislike to certain people, started be  afraid of your future but still there was some hope for changes which were to improve your inner condition…
But when it happens to you for the third time-nothing more could help…You start thinking that smth is wrong with you..start finding out complexes about yourself…and hating everything that is connected with your personality…life is turning into poison… because its so difficult to live with hatred and abbhorence…you feel completely distressed and broke down…
so I’m really scarred of myself…

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